Life is great?

Last summer was a dark time in my life. My parents just had a divorce and my little sister Amy had problems with her heart, so she spent a lot of time in the hospital. In addition, some girls in my class bullied me because I was a little bit overweight. My self-esteem had hit rock bottom. So my life was almost like a living hell.

It all started when my sister got problems with her heart. It was called Angina where you sometimes have cramps in your heart. Then my parents got a divorce. Because my father was cheating on my mother with another woman. Nevertheless, because of my little sister disease my father didn’t move.
Therefore, when Amy was in the hospital to a medical, my father and mother often argued, but never when she was home.

It didn’t went good in school either. Some girls had been bullied me for a couple of years. It was because I was a little bit overweight and I didn’t care so much about how I looked. It was terrible to knew that every day I went to school I would be bullied. They called me nicknames and push me into the locker. I hated it! I wanted to be popular. I didn’t wanted to be teased and be excluded.
I had to do something. Maybe if I lost some weight so I would looked like the other girls I wouldn’tbe teased. So that was my plan to get thinner. 
I had heard about a way to lose a lot of weight in short time. It was something about if you didn’teat anything you could lost a lot of weight in a short time. I wanted to try that.

It was a bit difficult in the beginning. I had urge to just eat sometimes. But then it wouldn’t work. 
So I told myself that I could do it if I really wanted. So I did. I hide it from my parents and my sister because I didn’t wanted to trouble them with it. When we ate together I always hide my food so they couldn’t see that I didn’t ate anything.  

One morning I stood in front of the mirror. I looked at myself. I was starting to see results. 
My stomach was getting a little bit smaller but that wasn’t enough. I needed to get thinner. The diet worked and I would continue with the diet until I was the thinnest girl in my class. 
Soon there went more and more days before I ate. I hardly ate anything. I didn’t even .wanted anything. The only think I lived on was a lot of water. I was getting thinner and thinner but I hadn’treached my goal yet. I continued with the diet for months. At last, I was finally the thinnest girl in my class. I was so thin that you clearly could see my ribs. But that wasn’t enough. I still think I looked fat and ugly.

I have been on the diet in 10 months and I was starting to get very poorly. Because it was of course not healthy to not eat anything in such a long time. A morning when I woke up I felt very dizzy Itried to stand up but I couldn’t. It felt like someone hat hit me with a shovel in my head. The room spun around. The last thing I remember was when my head hit the cold, hard floor with a big bang. 
The next think I remember was when I woke up in the hospital. I couldn’t remember what was happened. Amy saw that I was woke up and she jump up in the bed and gave me a big hug. I asked what happened. My parents came up to me. My mother cried and took my hand and explained what happened. I had passed out and was close to die. I actually died for four seconds but they resuscitated me in the last second. I looked at Amy and she was close to tears. She sniffled and asked me “Why did you do that to me?” I cried and hugged her. “I will never do that again. I promise”

Recently I started treatment at a clinic of eating disorder. And I moved to a new school where I got some new nice friends. My sister is getting better and my father is moveing out and together with his new girlfriend. So my life is almost normal now and I’m really happy about it.

Written by Julie S. Skadhauge